Women complain that men pack up the romance as soon as a woman commits. They no longer feel the need to ladle it out as they did during courtship. And the woman is left feeling cheated and deprived, looking for that elusive element that her man wooed her with, but never bothered to adopt again.
Why does a man ditch romance the moment he secures his woman? For most men, romance is like a weapon they use during the chase, much as they would use a rifle for a hunt. Once the hunt is over and the prize secured, the rifle goes up on the wall and romance into the man’s pocket, till he needs to use it again.
On the other hand, a woman invariably mistakes romance to be a part of the entire package she is saying yes to and expects it to last forever. And so, when the man lays down his weapons and withholds the candles, chocolates and roses, she feels cheated and betrayed.
Recently at an all-women’s poetry club meet, after dissecting, venerating and romancing the 13th century Persian poet Rumi, we all settled down to discuss one of Rumi’s recurrent themes – of the ecstasy of love and its inherent pain. Why must love be painful? The ladies debated…
Said one, “Oh, love is ecstatic to begin with, and then you marry – and the pain begins!
“I swear,” quipped a young one in her 20s. “I was wooed relentlessly; now, just two years into marriage and he just doesn’t bother to be romantic anymore.”
Her mother nodded with empathy. “Ah,” she sighed. “My husband would hold my hand and declare it the softest in the world! Today he has given me much happiness and everything else, but… there is no Yash Chopra romance!”
“Well” said the effervescent Dido Chadha, “It is a universal truth; men pursue first, then the woman pursues the man.” In the same spirit, Dido (named after a Greek Goddess) then went on to regale us with this Kishore Kumar song from the 1960’s movie, Girl Friend.
I don’t have an issue with pre-marital sex. It’s legal and as long as the couple is of age and it’s consensual, it’s really silly to obsess about others having it. What is upsetting, however, is the perception of a woman as a “victim” if the relationship doesn’t culminate into marriage. People say the girl was “used”, or perhaps that she was “tricked” into having sex, that it now will affect her “reputation” and in general, the girl comes out as a sobbing sad story. I strongly disagree. Women today are in every workplace. They are educated, smart and responsible. If not, that’s not the guy’s fault.
He anyway wasn’t in love with her for her qualifications. People fall in love and hearts and bodies connect. That’s called being human. The girl enjoys sex as much as the guy does and when a couple splits up, to assume the guy isn’t equally hurt is absurd. But you don’t hear men wailing about being “dumped” or “used”, because men have been brought up to not display tears or signs of weakness. They are automatically and unfairly slotted as “tough” and hence, by default, as the emotionless users. How ridiculous to assume that women fall prey to a man’s charms, but that men don’t fall prey to a woman’s charm?! Talks of “character” and “reputation” are all societal prejudices and drive women to absolve themselves of all responsibility in the eventuality that things don’t go as planned.
If there’s any stigma to the woman, it’s not the man, but society to blame for it because if society is so concerned about the reputation of the womsan, it only needs to reprimand itself for creating such stupid stigmas in the first place.
He anyway wasn’t in love with her for her qualifications. People fall in love and hearts and bodies connect. That’s called being human. The girl enjoys sex as much as the guy does and when a couple splits up, to assume the guy isn’t equally hurt is absurd. But you don’t hear men wailing about being “dumped” or “used”, because men have been brought up to not display tears or signs of weakness. They are automatically and unfairly slotted as “tough” and hence, by default, as the emotionless users. How ridiculous to assume that women fall prey to a man’s charms, but that men don’t fall prey to a woman’s charm?! Talks of “character” and “reputation” are all societal prejudices and drive women to absolve themselves of all responsibility in the eventuality that things don’t go as planned.
If there’s any stigma to the woman, it’s not the man, but society to blame for it because if society is so concerned about the reputation of the womsan, it only needs to reprimand itself for creating such stupid stigmas in the first place.
Recently, the mainland "New Look" weekly magazine reported this scandal featuring 12 graphic photo said to be Stephy preforming oral sex. Think back to the Edison Chen sex scandal that exploded about out 2 years ago. Many female celebrities from or based in Hong Kong were linked to him but were spared the release of their compromising roles. Now many are speculating that Kira is back if this new leak is true. The newly leaked video said to be of Stephy and an unidentified man some are speculating is Edison Chen. Reportedly the video was dated back 2002 when Stephy Tang and Edison Chen were the lead actor and actress in the film "Nine Girls and a Ghost". Rumors had it that after a few months later, they became very close as Edison had broke up with his then current girlfriend Bobo Chan. Kira is the person who originally uploaded all the Edison Chen's scandal related materials on various forums 2 years ago and then disappear without a trace.
Actress/singer Stephy Tang whose so called "6 minutes of sex video" was leaked recently and it is being reported on by the Chinese media outlets where it all started by a magazine reporting about it using still images from the video. According to some reports, a person or persons working for the Hong Kong police is suspected to behind the leak. It is a known fact that Hong Kong authorities have videos and photos yet to be seen by the public of female celebrities turned over to the police investigating the "Edison Chen photo scandal" incident of two years ago. Video and/or pictures of Stephy Tang are rumored to be in the collection. Her company have denied everything so far and people are starting to link it back to the Edison Chen scandal of Chinese New Year 2008.
At about 5 pm Thursday Stephy responded via her microblog to the reports by saying (rough translated): "I just read some comments left by true fans left scratching their heads, and I could not figure out what happened. Did something happened? ... oh, it was another creative story from those busy body magazines!!! … but it actually those silly magazine story telling! But this time they went too far. My company is dealing with it now ... don't worry!" About 2 hours later, Stephy further updated: " When the conscience being severely concealed, when the moral was buried deep, human weaknesses in the immediate exposure, "situation very frustrating. She want to set the record straight and cleared up everything by saying: "This is definitely not me." She says she isn't mad but a little disappointed because she always have a good relationship with media. She said it hasn't affect her work so far and many of her friends are standing up for her.
When reporters contact her management company, they question Stephy's assistant. And she responded by saying: The claims that Stephy indecent video was leaked "is a false news", the company will "reserve the right to legal action." But behind the scenes the company is said to worried that Stephy Tang was involved, because they know she was photographed with Edison and was believe Hong Kong police have received copies. The spokesman for Edison belonging to East Asia Entertainment Mr. Leung did not respond on the matter.
The girl in the video has a face similar to Stephy but may not her. Instead media sources from Hong Kong are reporting she is an "AV version of Stephy" Japanese actress known as Step Ji Zeming or Japanese AV star Yoshizawa Akiho. But the video seem to be homemade and not a professionally made AV. In addition, it was also said that the female in the video is Korean. True or not true, yet to be told. The male in the video does not look like Edison Chen but his face is rarely seen and seem to have been concealed by being blocked out. If the girl is not Stephy as she claim, she is an identical lookalike or a long lost twin sister. The resemblance is amazing so I am kind of sorry for her if it is really not her but only time will tell if it is really her or not. Lets hope there is more where this video came from the clear the matter.
Sex Video Screen Shots:
Stephy Tang Lai Yan 邓丽欣 (born October 15, 1983 in Hong Kong) is a Cantopop singer and actress. She was formerly the lead singer of the pop group Cookies. Stephy started her singing career in the band Cookies. The main style of music from Cookies was teen pop. When Stephy started her solo singing career, her record company, EMI, wanted a change to a more grown-up look and style. Some songs on her first album, Coloring Stephy, had a more mature and soft jazz influence than her previous music in Cookies. Generally, the album was widely heard and was popular, and it was certified Gold by IFPI Hong Kong.
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