A Cheat-sheet for Life: Sex, one night stand and virginity no more a taboo

Why can't a couple indulge in some healthy flirting if it only peps up the romantic quotient?\

 Sex, one night stand and virginity no more a taboo when a woman is sexually satisfied," describes loneliness as "an aversive signal whose purpose is to motivate us to reconnect".he line has now become famous: "A man is not a financial plan." And the same is true when it comes to our sense of connection. A man can enhance, add to, and contribute to our relational fulfillment. But a circle of friends, he is not.

What has been your experience? Is making friends easier or harder when married? What has worked for you to ensure that you are surrounded by friends that matter? What are you currently doing to make sure you're fostering friendships?

Several years ago when I heard that "Loneliness is the disease of this era," I'd look around and claim it couldn't be so. Now, I know better.

We have this mental picture of a lonely woman as that cranky, unlovable, unkempt woman who sits in her dark house all day, surrounded by boxes of stuff. Her blinds are closed. Her house reeks of litter boxes. She seemingly has no family and never married. We pity her.

It doesn't shock us as much when single women admit to feeling lonely. We still mistakenly make the connection that once she's married, she will fill that lonely ache.

Unfortunately, as so many now know, simply getting married doesn't cure the loneliness. In fact, as stated poignantly in "The Mirages of Marriage," "The most intense and excruciating loneliness is the loneliness that is shared with another person."

Research continues to reveal that when a man gets married, he feels more connected and reports less loneliness. The same isn't as true for the female counterparts. Our sense of being known and cherished doesn't always correlate to our relationship status.

Why Are the Married Feeling Lonely?

Whether related to the fact that our expectations increase in marriage, or that our new obligations decrease our chances to connect with others as much, many who are married are still lonely.

At least when most women were single they tended to have a more active social life. Now, as married women, many with kids, there is just too much to do to add girlfriend time to the schedule. And with research showing a decrease in our confidantes, when women do have time to get away, we frequently choose to spend this time alone since it takes less energy to be alone than to make new friends.

Having unmet emotional desires leaves many women feeling trapped in their sense of disconnection. The false belief that marriage will automatically lead to a sense of being heard, seen, known and loved may cause some women to enter into relationships that make their loneliness worse.

We are keenly reminded that loneliness has more to do with the quality of our relationships -- not simply our relationship status.

Responding to our Loneliness

It's one thing to feel lonely when you expected to. It's quite another to be surrounded by family and a network and still feel the pangs of disconnection. The temptation is to accept our isolation, as though there are no other options.

Fortunately the current research is too compelling for us to ignore our symptoms. A sense of disconnection is twice as damaging to our body as obesity and is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Lonely brains release higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which impairs the cardiovascular system and can increase the risk of heart disease. Depression rises in conjunction with our lack of meaningful connections. To turn a blind eye to our longings for belonging helps no one.

Hunger pangs, yawns, thirst and pain are ways for our bodies to say to our brains: feed me, put me to bed, give me water and care for this injury. Being able to feel our loneliness means we are in touch with our souls and can hear the hunger for more meaningful community. This is good.

There is a different kick in living the life of lovers even after marriage. Well, sticking to the husband and wife garb can take a backseat and life can be made a lot interesting with some healthy flirting ideas. Here's how:

Indulge in some sexting
Well guys, you can do it, can't you? Carry the bedroom talk forward as you get to express your horny desires on the texting platform as you exchange messages. It will let you get even closer as a madly in love couple.

Love limericks
Indulge in some short and sweet poem formats and rediscover the charm of being in love. Express your love for each other in a different way than the usual mode and get a different kick out of the exercise.

Get into some physical flirting
Well, being tactile helps a lot to say so many things. Touch says a lot of things without a single word being uttered. So, let your touch communicate all the naughty thoughts on your mind that you want your spouse to know.

Sign language
A little bit of imagination and a sense of humor and lots of gestures - obviously suggestive gestures - all you need in life is some spunk. So go ahead and flirt maximum to get the maximum attention and enjoy the magical spells of being in a relationship.

People have often wondered what drives married women to cheat on their husbands. According to a US dating website for "casual encounters", a woman is more prone to cheat at certain stress points in her life, notably right before turning 40.

Women also say that they cheat because they either don't feel loved or there is an emotional void in their marriages. Rest say that they cheat for the thrill of it.

Statistics have shown that 21 per cent of married men have had an affair, compared to 15% of married woman. However, number for women has increased in the last two decades, nearly up to 40%.

Does size of your penis worry you a lot? Stop thinking and get on with the act as a study reveals that women are more loyal to men with 'smaller' penises.

A team of researchers from the US and Kenya found that there was a strange link between the size of the penis and infidelity in a marriage.

Contrary to what many men may assume, they found that men with bigger penises are more likely to have wives who cheat on them.

"The reason is that women experience more painful sex when their partner is 'big'. That prompts them to seek another partner whom they may have more pleasurable sex," the study noted.

The study was conducted among the fishermen community in Lake Victoria in Kisumu County, Kenya.

One of the women said that she had to look for another man with a "smaller one" so that she could "do it in a way" she could enjoy.

According to the study, published in the journal PloS One, other possible reasons of a woman's infidelity in a marriage include denying her a preferred sex position as well as domestic violence.

Extramarital affairs may also happen when a woman is sexually dissatisfied, the study, reported by International Business Times, said.What can be the best way to defuse a fight or a conflict? Sex. Yes, you read it right.

Learn the art from bonobos, a species of dwarf chimpanzee. Rather than allowing a fight to escalate, they employ sexual contacts to diffuse tension and restore peace.

"Observing bonobos, it becomes clear that sex can play many roles in bonobo society - especially in resolving social tension," said Zanna Clay from Georgia-based Emory University who is studying how bonobos use sex after conflicts.

The researchers tested four main hypotheses regarding post-conflict sexual contacts: stress reduction, reproductive benefits, mediate food-conflicts, and repairing valuable bonds.

"It appears that the sexual physiology of bonobos is closely related to their stress alleviation," added co-author Frans de Waal.

This may have to do with the rubbing of sexual organs causing reductions in cortisol levels in the blood or causing increases in "bonding" hormones such as oxytocin or vasopressin, the researchers were quoted as saying in a report on wired.com.

Nevertheless, although bonobos use sexual contacts especially frequently and habitually in stressful contexts, the relationship between stress and non-reproductive sexual contacts is actually quite widely observed across numerous animals, including humans, they concluded.