CLUB DE SEXYMIND: Kinky pleasures to rekindle passion It’s official: Men look at women's breasts first

As soon as our mind has returned to work, responsibility, marriage and the pressures of life - the sizzle seems to be getting lost from a couple's between-the-sheets life.

If you have already tried the scented candles and sexy lingerie, then maybe it's time to think bold and dare to get sexually adventurous. It's time to rekindle the lost fire and bring back passion and excitement into your bedroom with a little bit of kinky thrills.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the best of all?
If you are considering kinky bedroom ideas, make use of some flashy mirrors in your nocturnal haven. Try fixing a large slab of mirrors onto your ceiling; as it can instantly transform your regular sex den into a pleasure playground. "I have wall to wall mirrors in my bed room. I got them installed so that my small bedroom gets some depth, but it gave me additional benefits as well. Seeing my partner's naked body and sexy moves reflected all around me adds to the sexual high. It not only made me get wilder with my girl, but also added to her confidence regarding her own body. It's the greatest sexual stimulant. Being a voyeur to your sexual session is gratifying," says Anuraag, 28, an IT professional from Bangalore.

Dr Rajan Bhonsle, HOD, Department of sexual medicine, KEM Hospital and GS Medical College, Mumbai explains, "Mirrors definitely add spice to the bedroom as you get to see yourself perform which is a big turn on by itself. One gets stimulated by this because of the voyeuristic attitude known as the "Peeping Tom syndrome."

Innocence Lost: Dr Rajan further suggests, "Breaking traditional sexual behavior is very arousing." "There's something extremely sexy about making out with a prim and proper schoolgirl. It just adds to the sexual role play when my girl dresses in a tiny skirt, with school shoes, carries a satchel and plaits her hair. Undressing her satisfies her inner urge of being raunchy with an older man, whereas as a man it makes me feel a sense of control and power. It's just raw sexual ecstasy," claims 32-year-old graphic designer Manjunath Kiran. "

I often don my micro mini school skirt and cook dinner and it surely surprises my lover when he comes home from work! It's the tastiest meal and we often end up making love in the kitchen. The thrill of having sex in a new destination such as the kitchen table along with the erotic costume is a heady combination. I just love teasing my man and screaming out in pleasure, 'Spank me Sir' as he pats me in all the right erogenous places with a wooden cane," declares 27-year-old media person Prabha Sinha.

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Are men more promiscuous than women? Do men fake it too? If these are some of the questions bothering you about sex, it's time to separate myth from fact

When it comes to sex, there have been far too many to-dos, what-to-dos and what-not-do-dos, since time immemorial. Half of these are based on realistic facts, but the rest are pure fiction. Unfortunately, due to lack of proper information, many relationships go awry. If you have been one of the many victims of sex myths, it's time to forget what you've heard so far. We separate the frisky fact from fiction and put these popular beliefs to bed.

Fantasizing about someone else during the act is bad
Get this clear before entering any relationship. Sexual experience primarily starts from the brain and not just the organ. And the brain does have a tendency to wander. What matters most in a relationship is commitment. If that's in place, doesn't matter whether you think of a Bipasha Basu or Brad Pitt while in bed.

Women are safe if a guy pulls out before ejaculation
Bad news on that front, guys. Men do not always realise when the ejaculatory fluid seeps out. This contains sperm which gets released and it's enough to get your partner pregnant.

Men think about sex every seven seconds
One wonders where this number popped up from. According to a research conducted by the Kinsey institute, USA, I4 per cent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 per cent a few times per month or per week and 4 per cent less than once a month.

Interestingly, it was reported that 19 per cent of women think about sex every day or several times a day, 67 per cent a few times per month or a few times per week and 14 per cent less than once a month. When it comes to number crunching, both sexes are pretty much equal.

Oral sex is safer than its vaginal counterpart
Oral sex counts as sex as well. Hence you are not totally immune from getting a sexually transmitted disease if you only indulge in oral sex. As there is an exchange of fluids, diseases can enter your body through sores or small cuts in your mouth and throat.

Men are always ready for sex
One of the most prevalent myths about male sexuality is that men are never too tired for sex. Fact is, men are not robots. They get stressed and tired as well, and sometimes may just not be in the mood to have sex. Besides, they are driven by emotions too, which in turn affect their libido.

So if your man is not responding to your overtures, it doesn't mean he isn't interested in you anymore. He may simply not be in the mood.

Size matters
For the nth time, men, STOP looking down, because it doesn't matter. Instead, get a copy of the Kamasutra and work (hard) on getting the right technique. When you know the real art of pleasuring your partner, chances are, she won't even realise how big (or small) your organ really is. Give it a topping of love and get the 'performer' tag no size can ever help you earn.

If all else fails, Viagra will always come to your rescue
The band-aid solutions (aka Viagra) to big problems (aka erectile dysfunction) are bound to give disappointing results. Instead, consult an expert, get to the root of the problem and have it treated accordingly.

Moreover, if disorders like hypertension and diabetes are the culprits behind the lack of 'lift', oral medications can lead to serious side-effects. So save yourself from the all-knowing quack expert within you and junk that pill till you know exactly what you are doing.

After a certain age, sex is no longer important
The person who came up with this idea must have been a party pooper. If you are capable of having sex (and feel like it), just do it. It's as simple as that.

Moreover, the positive physical and emotional repercussions of frequent sex can even add some years to your life. With age, loss of libido is common, but factors such as hormonal issues, depression, communication problems with partner and anxiety disorders play an equally important role.

Most men are not interested in foreplay
Most women believe that men usually have one goal when it comes to sex and that is reaching an orgasm. But a lot of men have thankfully risen above just the orgasm and are attentive to the needs of their partners. In fact, men enjoy foreplay as well, as it helps them to keep the performance stress away and think about something other than their erection.

Great sex just happens
True. It 'just happens' once in a while. But if you wish to have a fulfilling sex life where each encounter leaves you wanting for more, stand up and take charge. There's no standard 'to-do' list that will work wonders for everyone every time, which is why good communication and mutual willingness to experiment is a must. That mindblowing sex will end with an orgasm in bed, but starts with a stimulating conversation on the couch.

And you thought Harry Potter was only for kids! Use these Potter potions and magical instruments to rev up your sex life like never before. Feel the magic come back into your sexual life.

We're all going gaga over the latest Harry Potter movie installment, Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince. As the sixth book witnesses Harry' s relationship with Ginny, here's how you too can now use eight bewitching objects from the Harry Potter world in your love life.

Veritaserum : Veritaserum is a very strong potion that leaves the person unable to hide the truth. We suggest you use this potion when you want to know what's going on in your lover's mind. But we suggest you use it in moderation as using it too liberally may make you discover more than you were vying for. Administer to your lady love just before you are about to make love and know more about her moan zones.

Polyjuice Potion : You can be anyone you want for an hour, thanks to this electrifying elixir. Just lay your hands on the person's hair for the potion. It's a intoxicating foreplay device - and the ultimate role play method. Imagine turning into Brad Pitt and having a wild sack session with your love godess. Afterall, it may just be ultimate fantasy mechanism!

Room of Requirement : Harry Potter and his pals often shared their secrets in this mysterious room where they could conjure up anything they needed. So if you are looking for a place to get down and dirty - why not use this magical room?

Remembrall : If you've received a lot of flak for forgetting your lover's birthday - use this smoke-filled orb that turns red when the user has forgotten something. Just keep it tucked away for those special occasions which seem to slip out of your mind and see the difference.

Floo Powder : Missing your lover? Simply spray Floo powder in the nearest fireplace, shout out the address, get in and land up in your lover's bed. It's a great potion for those pining lovers living in different cities.

Time Turner : Did you just break up and are sorely repenting your decision? Want to turn back the hands of time to the moments when it was all perfect? The Time Turner gives you the chance to travel back in time and alter events that have occurred.

Pensieve : This modest stone bowl filled with a silvery liquid contains people's memories, leaving their minds free for other things. So, if you are still mooning over your ex, use this and be rid of bitter memories. Also, use it to win arguments, provided your memories are correct. Pensieve can be used to relive your wedding day, anniversary, or even that really intoxicating sex session you had last month.

Well, they used to before their ladies started banking big checks and monogamy took hold, according to a new study published in the peer-reviewed journal Evolutionary Psychology.

On June 8, Daniel Kruger, PhD, assistant research professor at the University of Michigan School of Public Health told LiveScience, a science news site, “The name of the game in evolution is to get your genes in the next generation.”

Kruger analysed why men die first and found it has everything to do with sex.

Since, “mating competition is responsible for excess male mortality, then the more mating competition there is, the higher excess male mortality will be,” he said in a release.

To win the favour of ladies and get the sex, money comes into play and Kruger suggests “The wider the gap between rich and poor, the more likely men are to die young.”

Alpha males may continue to pass their seed driven by sex on, but it is likely that it is lessening as “the more egalitarian a society, and the more devoted to monogamy, the less extreme the risk taking. But no human culture, is perfectly free of such competition.” — AFP/Relaxnews

Women often say that men tend to ogle at their breasts and their face is the last thing they notice, and now a scientific study has found evidence to prove them right.

Scientists have found that almost half - 47 per cent - of men first glance at a woman’s breasts. A third of the "first fixations" are on the waist and hips, while fewer than 20 per cent look at the woman’s face, reports the Daily Mail in UK.

In fact, breasts are not only the first thing men look at, they also glance at them for longer than any other body part, revealed experts. Many believe that the reason behind such male tendency could be evolutionary, as women with larger chests and slim waists - such as Jennifer Hawkins, Lara Bingle and Rachael Finch - have higher levels of the female hormone oestrogen, indicating greater fertility. But the researchers conceded that there could be a more prosaic explanation.

"Men may be looking more often at the breasts because they are simply aesthetically pleasing, regardless of the size," the Daily Telegraph quoted them as saying.

Subjects tested by researchers from New Zealand’s University of Wellington were presented with six images of the same woman, digitally altered to increase or decrease the size of her bust, waist and hips. The scientists recorded which areas men looked at first, the number of times they looked, and how long their gaze lasted, using cameras and mirrors to measure tiny eye movements.

"Eighty per cent of first fixations were on the breasts and midriff. Men spent consistently more time looking at the breasts and also made significantly more fixations upon them than other regions," the study concluded.

It also found that men began to gaze at the "components of the hourglass figure" within 0.2 seconds. The research also discovered that few glances were directed at the arms, lower legs and feet.