Waiting for several hours for your sweetheart and defining it as love might no longer be worth its 'weight' in gold. Gifting a costly mobile phone might no longer connect romantically and send the right message across.
Even gifting roses and waiting for that oh-so-priceless expression could be considered passé.
Yes, love has changed a lot over the years but never has mush been as physical as it is now. For, according to a poll conducted exclusively for TOI by a market research firm, 38 per cent of youngsters in the city feel that 'physical intimacy' is what love is all about. Surprisingly, in no other city did this figure exceed 6 per cent!
According to Shravanthi M, a college student, physical intimacy radiates positivity in the relationship. "When I hold my boyfriend's hand, I feel secure," she states.
Showing off a partner to a group of friends can also be achieved by physical intimacy, feel some. Gopi S, marketing executive, is one of them. "Also, it makes you feel closer to your loved one when you're with a bunch of people," he says.
Counselling psychologist Saras Bhaskar states that there is a general increase in the number of youngsters getting physically intimate in relationships. "Looking at it from the emotional aspect, physical intimacy becomes a natural progressive state," she explains, "From the behavioural point of view, it could gratify the emotional needs at whatever level it is exhibited."
According to singer Shwetha Mohan, physical intimacy is a part and parcel of the 'love game.' "But I wouldn't give it a lot of importance," says the singer, who got engaged recently, "After all, love leads to physical intimacy and not the other way around."
But, love can only increase with physical intimacy, argues HR executive Raj Prakash. "The best part of intimacy is that it can be enjoyed even while doing other romantic things; for instance, holding hands during a candle-light dinner."
Concludes clinical psychologist Sangeetha Madhu, "It's a paradox of today's culture that technology has connected us like never before; yet youngsters are exhibiting emotional disturbances. Specifically, in Chennai, the concept of close-knit families is slowly decreasing and that could perhaps be a reason for youngsters seeking more physical intimacy while in other metropolitan cities, this happened quite a few years ago."
Even gifting roses and waiting for that oh-so-priceless expression could be considered passé.
Yes, love has changed a lot over the years but never has mush been as physical as it is now. For, according to a poll conducted exclusively for TOI by a market research firm, 38 per cent of youngsters in the city feel that 'physical intimacy' is what love is all about. Surprisingly, in no other city did this figure exceed 6 per cent!
According to Shravanthi M, a college student, physical intimacy radiates positivity in the relationship. "When I hold my boyfriend's hand, I feel secure," she states.
Showing off a partner to a group of friends can also be achieved by physical intimacy, feel some. Gopi S, marketing executive, is one of them. "Also, it makes you feel closer to your loved one when you're with a bunch of people," he says.
Counselling psychologist Saras Bhaskar states that there is a general increase in the number of youngsters getting physically intimate in relationships. "Looking at it from the emotional aspect, physical intimacy becomes a natural progressive state," she explains, "From the behavioural point of view, it could gratify the emotional needs at whatever level it is exhibited."
According to singer Shwetha Mohan, physical intimacy is a part and parcel of the 'love game.' "But I wouldn't give it a lot of importance," says the singer, who got engaged recently, "After all, love leads to physical intimacy and not the other way around."
But, love can only increase with physical intimacy, argues HR executive Raj Prakash. "The best part of intimacy is that it can be enjoyed even while doing other romantic things; for instance, holding hands during a candle-light dinner."
Concludes clinical psychologist Sangeetha Madhu, "It's a paradox of today's culture that technology has connected us like never before; yet youngsters are exhibiting emotional disturbances. Specifically, in Chennai, the concept of close-knit families is slowly decreasing and that could perhaps be a reason for youngsters seeking more physical intimacy while in other metropolitan cities, this happened quite a few years ago."
Almost every couple has suffered from the occasional not-so-sexy moves which end up turning off the respective partners in bed. But what about the accidental bummers which often happen in the midst of your steamiest sex sessions? From suddenly being compelled to answering nature's call or moaning your past lover's name, these sex shockers are irksome distractions that do not allow you to enjoy the act of passion whole-heartedly.
These circumstantial occurrences during sex may not be very common, but these can happen to you as well. So the next time you find yourself in these embarassing situations, just take a count of the following points...
Sex with my ex
Imagine screaming your ex's name, or your secret lover's pet name, just when your partner is about to climax. Damn! It can't get worse than this. "I had an arranged marriage and it was a blunder that I did on my honeymoon. I yelled my ex's name in pleasure and my hubby was very frustrated hearing another man's name. Believe me, we didn't have sex for months, until I convinced him that there's nothing between me and my ex now," shares Deepti Shah (31), who got married last year.
Such an occurence is likely to make your partner feel estranged, besides injecting a feeling of suspicion in your love life.
Hot tip: Though fantasies are an essential part of a gratifying sex life, expressing fantasies in such unexpected ways can often put end to your relationship. "A lot of women fantasise about their idol or a past lover while having sex as it turns them on. But it's important to remember that sex is an emotional experience too, so don't appear to be emotionally weak and let your past lover/fantasy hover in your mind space while becoming intimate with your present beau. This causes a discord in your relationship. A combination of prayanam, gym and a job (PGJ) is the best way to keep away from a fertile imagination," suggests Dr. Aruna Broota, clinical psychologist.
Nature's call
This blooper is the mother of all sex bummers faced by couples. Often confused with a squirting orgasm, it is related to the pressure applied on the bladder due to sexual stimulation. A problem commonly faced by women, this often leaves the male partner feeling half pleasured. Recalls housewife Pratibha Trivedi, "I often feel like urinating half way through the act and this creates a problem for my man, besides being unhealthy."
Hot tip: Never force yourself to reach a climax if you're feeling like relieving yourself. "The nerves that are stimulated during an erection are quite close to those of the urinal bladder and sometimes an overlapping can result in urinating during sex. So make sure you have attended nature's call before you gear up for the act of sex. In case there are any other organic problems, certain medications can help deal with them," elucidates Dr. Prakash Kothari, a leading sexologist.
Oops! I farted
It may sound like a marginal interruption, but if it comes in the way of pleasure, it's sure to marr the excitement. "It was a horrifying nightmare. I knew my wife had medical implications due to which she suffered gastritis, but it was a highly disturbing when we were sexually engaged and I stopped enjoying sex with her anymore," recalls Ravi Mehra.
Hot tip: Make sure your digestive system is in place before you indulge in a make out session. "Avoid potatoes, pulses, peas, and bakery items that enhance gas formation (gastritis). Also, we recommend you to consume a digestive pill or opt for a brisk walk after the meal to make the food settle down completely," recommends Dr. Kothari.
These circumstantial occurrences during sex may not be very common, but these can happen to you as well. So the next time you find yourself in these embarassing situations, just take a count of the following points...
Sex with my ex
Imagine screaming your ex's name, or your secret lover's pet name, just when your partner is about to climax. Damn! It can't get worse than this. "I had an arranged marriage and it was a blunder that I did on my honeymoon. I yelled my ex's name in pleasure and my hubby was very frustrated hearing another man's name. Believe me, we didn't have sex for months, until I convinced him that there's nothing between me and my ex now," shares Deepti Shah (31), who got married last year.
Such an occurence is likely to make your partner feel estranged, besides injecting a feeling of suspicion in your love life.
Hot tip: Though fantasies are an essential part of a gratifying sex life, expressing fantasies in such unexpected ways can often put end to your relationship. "A lot of women fantasise about their idol or a past lover while having sex as it turns them on. But it's important to remember that sex is an emotional experience too, so don't appear to be emotionally weak and let your past lover/fantasy hover in your mind space while becoming intimate with your present beau. This causes a discord in your relationship. A combination of prayanam, gym and a job (PGJ) is the best way to keep away from a fertile imagination," suggests Dr. Aruna Broota, clinical psychologist.
Nature's call
This blooper is the mother of all sex bummers faced by couples. Often confused with a squirting orgasm, it is related to the pressure applied on the bladder due to sexual stimulation. A problem commonly faced by women, this often leaves the male partner feeling half pleasured. Recalls housewife Pratibha Trivedi, "I often feel like urinating half way through the act and this creates a problem for my man, besides being unhealthy."
Hot tip: Never force yourself to reach a climax if you're feeling like relieving yourself. "The nerves that are stimulated during an erection are quite close to those of the urinal bladder and sometimes an overlapping can result in urinating during sex. So make sure you have attended nature's call before you gear up for the act of sex. In case there are any other organic problems, certain medications can help deal with them," elucidates Dr. Prakash Kothari, a leading sexologist.
Oops! I farted
It may sound like a marginal interruption, but if it comes in the way of pleasure, it's sure to marr the excitement. "It was a horrifying nightmare. I knew my wife had medical implications due to which she suffered gastritis, but it was a highly disturbing when we were sexually engaged and I stopped enjoying sex with her anymore," recalls Ravi Mehra.
Hot tip: Make sure your digestive system is in place before you indulge in a make out session. "Avoid potatoes, pulses, peas, and bakery items that enhance gas formation (gastritis). Also, we recommend you to consume a digestive pill or opt for a brisk walk after the meal to make the food settle down completely," recommends Dr. Kothari.
"Do I have a perfect sex partner? If not, how can I get one?' Indeed a million dollar question that hovers in the minds of most couples!
Though it might be hard to find an absolute sexually compatible partner, but most couples don't even know the traits that they or their better half should posses to be a perfect sex partner.
Having an outstanding sex partner takes a huge burden off an individual's mind. It allows them concentrate more on the act, instead of thinking too much about whether they're making love to the right person or not. When it comes to a perfect sex partner, attributes like height, weight, age, behaviour, choices etc take a backseat. What matters is that he/she suits you and shares an amazing chemistry in the bedroom.
Dr. Kirti Mishra, a clinical physiologist and a relationship expert elucidates, "The idea of a perfect sex partner varies for different individuals, but some common traits like sexually active, experimental in bed, hygienically sound etc are a must, as they are the key for finding sexual bliss. Most couples today are working on their personal attributes to match their partner's prerequisites and thus become a perfect sex partner."
Apart from good looks, a hot body and a heady sex drive, let's explore the less superficial elements of what makes a perfect sex partner. And if your partner bears these qualities in bed, you can unquestionably boast of having a great sex partner...
1. Hygiene holds the key
Everyone likes making love to a clean and tidy partner, so good hygiene holds great importance in a sexual relationship. Ensure that your partner is well manicured with a fully waxed body to ensure a higher comfort level. Too much hair on body makes it uncomfortable to enjoy each inch of your lover. So look out for a soft and clean skin in your partner complemented with a nice smell, as a bad body odour is a huge turn-off.
Hot tip : "During sexual intimacy, everyone wants a hygienically fit partner, as this not only enhances the comfort level, but lets you enjoy the act more. So make sure you seem as fresh as if you have just stepped out of the shower before getting into bed. Sexual scents and aphrodisiacal fragrances are a good choice," recommends Dr. Devesh Roy, a sex therapist.
2. Oral sex shouldn't be an issue
You know what pleases you, so a wonderful partner to have in bed is one who doesn't hesitate going out of the way to give you that pleasure. If not routinely, your partner should be ready to please you orally as per their own mood and comfort level. While no one is perfectly adept at the oral act, but a partner who tries learning the little tricks to arouse you can surely add magic to your love life.
Hot tip : "Don't wait for your partner to tell you or give hints each time they feel like experiencing oral pleasure, instead make it a part of the love making act. It is quite safe and enjoyable as the actual act, so don't be unwilling to go for it," states Dr. Deepak Gupta, a sex expert
Though it might be hard to find an absolute sexually compatible partner, but most couples don't even know the traits that they or their better half should posses to be a perfect sex partner.
Having an outstanding sex partner takes a huge burden off an individual's mind. It allows them concentrate more on the act, instead of thinking too much about whether they're making love to the right person or not. When it comes to a perfect sex partner, attributes like height, weight, age, behaviour, choices etc take a backseat. What matters is that he/she suits you and shares an amazing chemistry in the bedroom.
Dr. Kirti Mishra, a clinical physiologist and a relationship expert elucidates, "The idea of a perfect sex partner varies for different individuals, but some common traits like sexually active, experimental in bed, hygienically sound etc are a must, as they are the key for finding sexual bliss. Most couples today are working on their personal attributes to match their partner's prerequisites and thus become a perfect sex partner."
Apart from good looks, a hot body and a heady sex drive, let's explore the less superficial elements of what makes a perfect sex partner. And if your partner bears these qualities in bed, you can unquestionably boast of having a great sex partner...
1. Hygiene holds the key
Everyone likes making love to a clean and tidy partner, so good hygiene holds great importance in a sexual relationship. Ensure that your partner is well manicured with a fully waxed body to ensure a higher comfort level. Too much hair on body makes it uncomfortable to enjoy each inch of your lover. So look out for a soft and clean skin in your partner complemented with a nice smell, as a bad body odour is a huge turn-off.
Hot tip : "During sexual intimacy, everyone wants a hygienically fit partner, as this not only enhances the comfort level, but lets you enjoy the act more. So make sure you seem as fresh as if you have just stepped out of the shower before getting into bed. Sexual scents and aphrodisiacal fragrances are a good choice," recommends Dr. Devesh Roy, a sex therapist.
2. Oral sex shouldn't be an issue
You know what pleases you, so a wonderful partner to have in bed is one who doesn't hesitate going out of the way to give you that pleasure. If not routinely, your partner should be ready to please you orally as per their own mood and comfort level. While no one is perfectly adept at the oral act, but a partner who tries learning the little tricks to arouse you can surely add magic to your love life.
Hot tip : "Don't wait for your partner to tell you or give hints each time they feel like experiencing oral pleasure, instead make it a part of the love making act. It is quite safe and enjoyable as the actual act, so don't be unwilling to go for it," states Dr. Deepak Gupta, a sex expert
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