Come, let’s talk sex legalising prostitution imposes cataclysmic social costs

I hate going to conferences late — especially when the topic is sex. My colleague and I squeezed into the packed room at Savera and settled on the only two seats behind a giggling elderly lady in a pink dress and a poker-faced old man with a walking stick. The 26th National Conference on Sexology was in full swing in Chennai, where sex is sometimes a four-letter word.

Hani Miletski, the 48-year-old sexologist with a Natalie Portman haircut and a zebra dress, was not quite an entertainer as a speaker, but her case studies were. She was speaking on "A day in the life of a sex therapist.’ We missed her earlier part of the day, and by the time we reached the venue she was well into her late afternoon. "At 4 pm, I saw Sushma," the US-based therapist said, the presentation on the screen showing a crayon sketch of a sad-looking woman.  Sushma an Indian in the US, was left with her grandma since the age of four. Her world revolved around her grandma and she had no social life. Now 38, Sushma has never had a sexual intercourse.

"At 5 pm, John walks in," Miletski continued. John, who has a prostate problem, is married thrice. He used to have intercourse thrice a week, each lasting 20 minutes with multiple orgasms. So, what’s his problem? Well, the duration of his intercourse has been growing and now it stands at one hour. Miletski spoke about another client of hers, a 70-year-old man who felt ashamed to face his wife after he got aroused when a nurse was doing a rectal examination on him. "I told him that it is quite common for some men to get aroused when touched there. He went back a happy man and that was the shortest therapy I had done," Miletski said.

What struck me the most was Miletski’s comment that hers was a "lonely life." Before the audience could get ideas, she explained: "I mean an ideal sex therapist’s professional life is a lonely one. You listen to the most intimate details of your clients’ lives, but offer nothing about yours. Your only body contact with your client is a brief handshake."

At coffee break, I chatted up Miletski. "Some cardiologists have heart problems," I started, "some dermatologists get rashes…" At this, Miletski interrupted me. "Oh, ok, you are a journalist… and you have a question about my sex life?" I politely replied "no," and put the question straight: "If a sexologist has a sex problem, should she treat herself?" Miletski’s immediate answer was "I don’t know," and I liked that honesty. She did think about it and answered it better a few minutes later: "It helps being a sexologist to understand one’s own problem, but sometimes it is better to take the help of another sexologist."

Later I found out that Miletski is an Israel-born American having a good practice in Bethesda, Maryland. She is the author of two books, Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia; and Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo Persists.
 
 
Other findings of Miletski:
 
* Boys have sex with buffalos in rural India
* Urban women tutor dogs to have intercourse with them
* A group of frequent flyers travel in search of stallions
* 8% men and 4% women in the US have sex with animals

National interest demands a fuller debate on the legalisation of prostitution. Germany’s number of women in prostitution has doubled since legalisation, yet 90% plus are still illegal, mostly trafficked from less prosperous countries. Now known as the ‘bordello of Europe’ with a sex tourism business built on the backs of mostly migrant women supposedly exercising choice, Germany has luxurious multi-storeyed mega brothels in several cities, making pimps and procurers res-pectable businessmen. Political forces want to backtrack but are helpless before enormous vested interests.
Netherlands, which preceded Germany with the ‘individual choice, human rights’ paradigm, has its deputy prime minister calling it ‘a national mistake’. The Dutch justice minister and police concede lack of improvement in the condition of prostituted women, still poorer health, and increased numbers in ‘not voluntary’ drug addiction. Significant links with organised crime have led to many brothel closures.

The European Parliament passed this year by overwhelming majority a detailed resolution to tackle sexual exploitation and prostitution, and their impact on gender equality. It noted two models in Europe – the German/Netherlands ‘individual choice, legalised sex work’ model vs the ‘Nordic model’ positioning prostitution within the spectrum of violence against women as sexual exploitation and marker of gender inequality. Sweden decriminalises the exploited seller, offers support and exit programmes but criminalises the purchasers and procurers.

 intent to endorse legalisation of prostitution at the forthcoming consultation of the Supreme Court appointed committee reviewing government schemes, in order to achieve more effective rehabilitation and basic citizen rights for ‘sex workers’. committee’s task had earlier been clarified as one geared to ensure livelihoods through technical skills acquisition enabling life with dignity and basic citizen rights, not to be construed as SC approval of ‘sex work has cited the ‘Sonagachi model’ of unionising ‘sex workers’, which i have extensively documented for its flawed research, false health claims and dubious impact.UN Convention Against Transnational Organised Crime to which

 the Swedish model stands vindicated – adopted by Norway, Iceland, Finland, Ireland, Russia, Philippines and Korea. This attempt was obstructed, as powerful foreign donors backed pro-prostitution and condom centric HIV/AIDS programmes that helped (a) sexualise the media and (b) seeded high risk sexual networks to form privileged communities in the name of HIV/AIDS prevention.

Better laws, implementation, policing, support systems for women’s safety and sexual abuse prevention are required – as is, above all, a change in the male mindset. If respect for bodily integrity is interpreted to include the right to barter it in commercial transactions, this tears all intimacy out of socially legitimate relationships. The current battle to secure bodily integrity, including the battle against marital rape, can scarcely succeed if we sanction the wilful sale of the body. Legalisation of prostitution benefits an already discredited business model and imposes cataclysmic social costs.