MORE DAMAGE FROM OVERVALUING VIRGINITY SEX SECRETS EVERY WOMAN MUST KNOW
The Damage of Overvaluing Virginity Both Christians, very involved in the church and on the outside seemed happy. I was not shocked when they broke up though, because she had confessed to me their biggest problem: He would not let go of the fact that she was not a virgin. Over and over he brought up that he needed to “mourn what was lost,” even though these conversations would often end with her in tears. His fixation on the fact that she had previously had sex, even though she was repentant about this, clouded their relationship. He was devastated when she broke up with him, and could never admit anything he’d done wrong.
There is something seriously wrong with how much he, and so many other Christians, value virginity.
In college, hanging out in my dorm, my Campus Crusade for Christ leader was telling us about how terrified she was on her wedding night. Despite the months she’d spent daily working out and eating next to nothing, she was so petrified of her husband seeing her naked, it’d taken her two glasses of champagne and a bubble bath before she relaxed enough to consummate their marriage. I’ve heard similar stories of good Christian girls, who’d waited their entire lives to have sex, spend the days and hours leading up to their wedding in a state of panic.
Somehow, I doubt that this is the attitude God wishes us to have about marital sex.
Unlike those girls above, I lost my virginity when I was 19. Despite growing up in a loving Christian home, turning into a young woman who led Bible studies and attended Christian conferences, I messed up and had sex in college. My (worship-leading) then-fiance had convinced me that “in God’s eyes, we were already married.” Afterwards, when he left to take a shower, I cried for a solid hour, watching from my window as the sun came up. When he unceremoniously broke up me with two months later, I felt both the pain of rejection and the terror that I had ruined my chances of ever marrying a Christian man.
Seven years later, I’m married to an amazing man who has never once made me feel bad about my past. His gracious love led to me see something important; that the most damaging thing from my past was not the sexual sins I’ve long been forgiven of, but the lies I believed told to me by other Christians.
“Your virginity is your most important gift brought to marriage.”
“It’s better to get married quickly than risk falling into the temptation of premarital sex.”
“If you’re not both virgins when you’re married, your marriage will suffer for years.”
If you are a young man or woman raised in the church, you are told from very early on how important purity is. There is truth in this. 1 Corinthains 6:8 is clear when it commands us to flee sexual immorality, and that is hardly the only verse written on the topic. Personally, I do believe that sex is something that was designed by God for two people in a committed, monogamous marriage-like* relationship. Young Christians who want to follow God’s design should wait until they are married. But the fact is that 80 percent of unmarried evangelical adults admit to having had pre-marital sex. Even if that number is flawed or inflated, it’s safe to say it’s close, and that at the very least more than half of all Christian men and women don’t wait until marriage to have sex.Almost every couple has suffered from the occasional not-so-sexy moves which end up turning off the respective partners in bed. But what about the accidental bummers which often happen in the midst of your steamiest sex sessions? From suddenly being compelled to answering nature’s call or moaning your past lover’s name, these sex shockers are irksome distractions that do not allow you to enjoy the act of passion whole-heartedlyREADMORE. http://chuliastreettulukan.blogspot.com/2012/07/more-damage-from-overvaluing-virginity.html
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