Shaila Nair Samy Velu Daughter in Blow Job with .........

Indira Varma by baloch


Whether it was a light-hearted liaison, a passionate affair or a meaningful relationship that didn't make it to the "happily ever after" altar, the fact is we're human beings and there is always emotional residue after you end an emotional chapter in your life.

Some take it negatively and berate themselves, curse others, and blame circumstances while others reflect, distract themselves with meditation, a busy social calendar, or immerse themselves in work. Eventually the head says, 'Move on', but the heart lingers on as a volcano of suppressed emotions and memories keep rising to the surface. For most people 'moving on' is about finding a new relationship, when in actuality, moving on is more about 'letting go' of the past.

It is often said that you cannot pour anything into a cup that's full. The same way, if you walk into your new relationship with emotional baggage there's no space for the new person to hang their coat. You simply have to spring clean your emotional closets first. There's no point getting into a new relationship when you're still sore about the old one. You end up walking around with a lot of negativity, will eventually vent it on your new relationship, create unhealthy conflicts and issues and end up feeling even more miserable about it. Allow yourself appropriate time to just heal, depending on how long you were in the relationship, how far the relationship had gotten and how deeply hurt you were by the split. There is no need for your new partner to suffer the mistakes of the old relationship or the fact that you may still be carrying a torch for your ex.

I'm 23 and I just broke up with my childhood sweetheart. He says the spark has died between us and that he cannot spend a lifetime without passion and chemistry. We loveeach other deeply, but he insists we must move on. I can't imagine my life without him. How will any other man match up to a man I have loved since I was 10 years old?
Aaaaaw! That's just so sad! We women are such suckers for romance and a happily ever after. It could also be that since he's only been with you his whole life, he wants to explore the world or is simply scared to marry. Nonetheless, you need to rekindle the chemistry since that's all that's missing. Reinvent yourself with a sexier avatar (not slutty, just desirable), and a smiling hard to get attitude. Learn a couple of sizzling dance moves and develop an interesting hobby. Positivity, vibrancy, sex appeal and happy smiles are all magnets! If all that fails, at least you've used your break up time wisely and put yourself in a positive state of mind. Once the pain fades you'll be ready for new beginnings. Just keep an open mind and allow a period of readjustment.

I am a 21 year old guy in love with a girl in tenth standard. She is based in Delhi while I'm in Chennai. We talk on the phone regularly but I cannot muster the courage to tell her my feelings since I feel it will affect our friendship. What do I do?
Don't tell her how you feel directly, but gently figure out how she feels. Ask her about her views on relationships, the qualities she looks for in a man, etc. If she's smart she'll catch on to the line of questioning and her answers and tone will give you direction as to whether to proceed or retreat.

I just had an arranged marriage this Feb. My husband and I went for a small trip to Panchgani. On the first night, he forced me to have sex with him. It was a bad experience and I cannot get over it. He says he wants a boy and this makes me think that is he even educated? He seems to go out a lot with his friends and I feel there are things he does not tell me. His friends drop in whenever he is out of town and I do not like that. I cannot trust him with this kind of behaviour. Please suggest something.
Ok! So you've married a rough, chauvinistic, self serving man that you suspect has other liaisons and is subjecting you to entertaining his friends in his absence. Not a good start by any standards, but it's a choice you've made and must contend with till you work out your options. Just make sure that while you mull over whether you can adjust to a lifetime with him, or are figuring out exit strategies, that you don't get pregnant.

I am a 22 year old girl in love with a guy who is my age. Our families know each other very well and we are of the same caste. My father wants the boy to be well educated and settled. But he is a little weak in studies. -Dimple Singh
Wow! You're in love, your families and caste are not an issue... you're set as far I'm concerned. All you need to do is find ways through tuitions, etc., to improve his scores and give him an incentive like hanging a tantalising, "I'll be yours forever when you get a good job" placard with your smiling photo on it above his study table!

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