1. Be comfortable : While experimentation is all important, do not try positions that you are physically uncomfortable in. What works for you, might not work for someone else, so remember the key to good sex is finding a hot spot that works for you and your partner. Experiment with positions that give you more leverage to hit the right spots. And feel maximum pleasure. Communicate what position you feel best in to your better half as that will give you better access to their moan zones.
2. Feel the vibrations : A lot of us may not believe this, but using a vibrator during sex can lend immense pleasure to both partners and if time is of the essence, there's nothing more efficient than this sex machine. Just ensure you're giving your man extra TLC, so that he doesn't feel left out or that he's not needed in the act
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3. Fantasy unlimited : Using your imagination during the act goes a long way if you're not really feeling all that excited. Fantasies are very powerful and act as a potent sexual stimulus, so use it to enhance the physical sensations that are happening and soon you'll be in seventh heaven
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4. Curb distractions : While having sex, cut out all distractions - be it keeping your eye on an ongoing football match or on the clock or checking your phone or laptop for mails and messages. Be committed to the act of sex like it's a job you are on because getting distracted will only deter your performance.
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5. Don't think of the end result : Sometimes, the harder you try, the harder it becomes to feel pleasure. If all you are focussed on is getting an orgasm, chances are that it will be more difficult to attain. Don't make your climax the sole objective. Enjoy the sensations, the smell, the foreplay, the caressing and the words. As someone said - 'it's a journey, not a destination.'
6. Indulge in porn : Magazines, DVDs, internet porn; there's no harm using external stimulation to get a sexual high. Watching other people having sex is an incredible turn on and can speed your sex session well. Just remove the porn DVD from your disc drive before that an important presentation at work or if you have kids at home to avoid embarrassment.
7. Talk the talk : Gone are the days when sex was supposed to be a silent process. Talk freely to your beau about what turns you on, your hot spots and the ways in which you feel pleasured the most and it's likely that you will discover a new meaning to a routine sex ritual. Also, during sex don't be afraid to moan aloud or call aloud your lover's name. It may just act as an added turn on!
It may come as a surprise to many people, but the most desirable length for sex is just 10 minutes, a survey of has revealed.
A survey of 50 members of the Society for Sex Threapy and Research, who counsel and treat couples with sexual problems, said that between one and two minutes was too short, three to seven minutes was acceptable, and anything over 13 minutes was too long.
The added that sex lasting between seven and 13 minutes was "desirable".
Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.
"Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy of all-night-long intercourse," the Telegraph quoted researcher Eric Corty, an associate professor of psychology at Penn State University, as saying.
"This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction.
"We hope this survey will dispel fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data," Corty added.
Best selling American author and columnist Sherry Argov tells you why you need to shed the good girl tag to win the love match
Sugar and spice isn't always nice. A dash of hot 'n' sour is what turns a bland dish into a gastronomic delight. Likewise, in the dating game, just being nice to your man doesn't make him more devoted; at times you need to be the 'bitch' to walk down the Valentine path.
That, in a nutshell, is best-selling author and columnist Sherry Argov's premise of her seminal books Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches . "Men secretly respect a woman who is strong, has confidence and dreams of her own," says Sherry. "They don't want women who are needy and desperate for approval."
So the key to conduct new-age relationships is: discover the feisty attitude "that will turn you into a diva from a doormat," says Sherry.
Why nice girls finish last
Ever wondered why despite putting your best face and foot forward, and treating your dreamboat like a dream, he seems to go for someone smarter, sassier and sexier — aka 'The bitch?' It's possibly because: »You are making it too obvious that you are looking to find a man and your happiness is dependent on that. »You are unable to be alone.
»You don't want to wait for the right person. Your impatience leads you to rush into a situation you wouldn't have chosen otherwise.
Do men like strong women?
The general consensus is that men get intimidated by strong, opinionated women who pose a challenge. But the truth is that any extreme is a turnoff. Whether you are the super aggressive sort or the dreamy, shy type, extreme behaviour signals insecurity. On the contrary, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is. So to woo the love of your life, be someone he desires. And he can't desire something that is too easily available. It doesn't mean you have to be unnecessarily aggressive or too stand-offish. It simply means you must be in control and keep him guessing. Besides, never forget the golden rule of relationships: You don't marry a perfect person. You marry an interesting person. And Sherry gives you the guide to be exactly that.
The 'bitches' don't...
»Call or text him frequently
» Ask where he is or what he's doing »Say 'You don't call me enough,' or, 'You never tell me you love me.' Unpredictability is your asset. Don't let your loved one decode you easily
» See a guy every night of the week. A woman who is easy won't scratch his competitive itch »Agree with everything he says. When you never express your opinion, a man starts feeling bored
»Go looking for him or chase him down at three different places where he said he might be having a drink. To be his 'steady', let him come track you down
» Get mad when he doesn't call you in four days
»Rearrange your schedule to spend time with him
»Be rude because being considerate is more effective. But doesn't mean you have to compromise yourself
The bitches DOs
Walk the tightrope...
...between being intimidating and independent by being feminine, yet quietly strong. When you don't telegraph or make obvious what your strengths and weakness are, your partner won't be able to read you. And when a man can't read a woman fully, he respects her more. It's not about demeanour, it's about self-control. A woman with self-control has power and men are turned on by that.
Eliminate the third angle
Worried about finishing second best in the love race? Well, first ensure you are the one he is amorous about. If he meets you and is crazy for you, other women should be a non-issue. If you are number 2 for any length of time, it means there are "too many queens in the castle." Then, just walk out. Calmly tell him the relationship is "no longer interesting" and wish him luck. This resonates self-worth and dignity, and will blow him away. Often, this will get him to play straight and prioritise you. If not, it's no loss. A man with a third wheel is never worth pursuing.
Be happy and positive
Value yourself and your peace of mind. Do not chase happiness outside yourself. Most importantly, try not to give energy to what others think of you; it takes away your power. If you feel good inside, others no longer can control you emotionally. This kind of calm and self-sufficiency is very attractive. Men are used to women who wear their heart on their sleeve and go crazy for the one they can't control.
Pursue your own dreams
Focus on interests outside the relationship. He can know you care, but doesn't need to know how much. Men don't want to compete with other men for your attention, they want to compete for your time because you aren't waiting for him 24x7. When he can't control you mentally, or remain invested in your own life, you become much more interesting to share life with.
(Sherry Argov is the author of Why Men Love Bitchesand Why Men Marry Bitches. Her work has been featured in leading magazines and her books are published in 30 languages)
A survey of 50 members of the Society for Sex Threapy and Research, who counsel and treat couples with sexual problems, said that between one and two minutes was too short, three to seven minutes was acceptable, and anything over 13 minutes was too long.
The added that sex lasting between seven and 13 minutes was "desirable".
Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.
"Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy of all-night-long intercourse," the Telegraph quoted researcher Eric Corty, an associate professor of psychology at Penn State University, as saying.
"This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction.
"We hope this survey will dispel fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data," Corty added.
Best selling American author and columnist Sherry Argov tells you why you need to shed the good girl tag to win the love match
Sugar and spice isn't always nice. A dash of hot 'n' sour is what turns a bland dish into a gastronomic delight. Likewise, in the dating game, just being nice to your man doesn't make him more devoted; at times you need to be the 'bitch' to walk down the Valentine path.
That, in a nutshell, is best-selling author and columnist Sherry Argov's premise of her seminal books Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches . "Men secretly respect a woman who is strong, has confidence and dreams of her own," says Sherry. "They don't want women who are needy and desperate for approval."
So the key to conduct new-age relationships is: discover the feisty attitude "that will turn you into a diva from a doormat," says Sherry.
Why nice girls finish last
Ever wondered why despite putting your best face and foot forward, and treating your dreamboat like a dream, he seems to go for someone smarter, sassier and sexier — aka 'The bitch?' It's possibly because: »You are making it too obvious that you are looking to find a man and your happiness is dependent on that. »You are unable to be alone.
»You don't want to wait for the right person. Your impatience leads you to rush into a situation you wouldn't have chosen otherwise.
Do men like strong women?
The general consensus is that men get intimidated by strong, opinionated women who pose a challenge. But the truth is that any extreme is a turnoff. Whether you are the super aggressive sort or the dreamy, shy type, extreme behaviour signals insecurity. On the contrary, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is. So to woo the love of your life, be someone he desires. And he can't desire something that is too easily available. It doesn't mean you have to be unnecessarily aggressive or too stand-offish. It simply means you must be in control and keep him guessing. Besides, never forget the golden rule of relationships: You don't marry a perfect person. You marry an interesting person. And Sherry gives you the guide to be exactly that.
The 'bitches' don't...
»Call or text him frequently
» Ask where he is or what he's doing »Say 'You don't call me enough,' or, 'You never tell me you love me.' Unpredictability is your asset. Don't let your loved one decode you easily
» See a guy every night of the week. A woman who is easy won't scratch his competitive itch »Agree with everything he says. When you never express your opinion, a man starts feeling bored
»Go looking for him or chase him down at three different places where he said he might be having a drink. To be his 'steady', let him come track you down
» Get mad when he doesn't call you in four days
»Rearrange your schedule to spend time with him
»Be rude because being considerate is more effective. But doesn't mean you have to compromise yourself
The bitches DOs
Walk the tightrope...
...between being intimidating and independent by being feminine, yet quietly strong. When you don't telegraph or make obvious what your strengths and weakness are, your partner won't be able to read you. And when a man can't read a woman fully, he respects her more. It's not about demeanour, it's about self-control. A woman with self-control has power and men are turned on by that.
Eliminate the third angle
Worried about finishing second best in the love race? Well, first ensure you are the one he is amorous about. If he meets you and is crazy for you, other women should be a non-issue. If you are number 2 for any length of time, it means there are "too many queens in the castle." Then, just walk out. Calmly tell him the relationship is "no longer interesting" and wish him luck. This resonates self-worth and dignity, and will blow him away. Often, this will get him to play straight and prioritise you. If not, it's no loss. A man with a third wheel is never worth pursuing.
Be happy and positive
Value yourself and your peace of mind. Do not chase happiness outside yourself. Most importantly, try not to give energy to what others think of you; it takes away your power. If you feel good inside, others no longer can control you emotionally. This kind of calm and self-sufficiency is very attractive. Men are used to women who wear their heart on their sleeve and go crazy for the one they can't control.
Pursue your own dreams
Focus on interests outside the relationship. He can know you care, but doesn't need to know how much. Men don't want to compete with other men for your attention, they want to compete for your time because you aren't waiting for him 24x7. When he can't control you mentally, or remain invested in your own life, you become much more interesting to share life with.
(Sherry Argov is the author of Why Men Love Bitchesand Why Men Marry Bitches. Her work has been featured in leading magazines and her books are published in 30 languages)
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