Fantasy and imagination trigger all great ideas, but do not be so carried away as to cross over into Neverland, says Seema Sinha
There are certain qualities in men that women absolutely dig. We tell you more...
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A sense of style:
We’d rather have you splurging on us than on obscenely priced designer wear. So, even if it’s a typical raste ka maal style that you swear by, make sure you adopt a certain classy and stylised look and maintain it. We’re not really asking you to be a picture copy of a Pierce Brosnan or a David Beckham, but trying to imitate their stylish will sure up your popularity quotient among the ladies. Keep yourself updated on the latest trends. Also, just as you have your reservations against the ‘nun-type’ dressers, we women too hesitate when it comes to the boring office type dresser.
Laugh it out:
One of the most important trait that woman dig is a sense of humour. We have more than enough problems to deal with and we don’t really need the company of another equally depressed soul. Yes, you have your bad days, but it does go a long way if you have a good sense of humour, and clean humour at that. Beware, taking a dig at others and constantly putting others down does not really spell fun for us. And we can’t tell you enough how much we love people who can laugh at themselves and their own mistakes.
Show us you care:
Women need to be constantly reassured that they are loved and cared about. Holding our hand while walking down the road or watching the sunset, an occasional hug and peck on the cheeks, making sure that we cross the road safely, etc means that you are proud to be seen with us and care. Remember, not displaying your affection openly is a sign that you are ashamed of who you are with. However, beware of being crass while displaying you affections.
A sexy smile/wink:
There’s a reason why women absolutely adore a Richard Gere or Hugh Jackman and it has a lot to do with the way that they smile or that glint in their eyes. Believe us when we tell you that if you look at us and smile like that, it does make us feel very special, like we are one in a million.
Be calm:
Woman are known to be harrowed and frenzied. Yes, we do tend to get hyper very easily and that is the precise reason why we need you to be the calming factor in our lives. It really doesn’t help if you too get stressed out or fly off the handle at any and every incident. Your sex appeal lies as much in your looks as it does in your attitude — we dig guy with a cool and peaceful attitude, the one who is able to calm us down and reassure us that all is well.
Day-dreaming and fantasising is young director Ayan Mukherji's (Wake up Sid) full-time occupation, currently. “That is all I do these days. Thinking, reading, imagining, reflecting about life is an essential part of me, and what I imagine has changed over the years.”
Fantasy also paved a way for six-year-old Dheeraj(name changed) to become a musician. Dheeraj would often play drums with steel bowls. His mother spotted his talent and enrolled him in the Trinity School of Music. He cleared eight levels in three years and released his own cassette at the age of 10.
Fantasising is healthy as long as one accepts reality and copes well with stress. You may switch off during lectures, or dream of what your mother must be cooking for lunch, but if you are constantly spaced out then you need to do a reality check. Says Henal Shah, psychiatrist, Nair Hospital, Mumbai, “Imagining getting a medal or being with one’s object of affection can give a lot of pleasure, and if one returns to reality soon, it’s fine.”
Finally we got our hands on the Britney Spears sex tape. First Kevin Federline anounce that there is a tape, then Britney says that there is a tape, then she denies. And these tapes are leaked. Is it Britney Spears giving blowjob? Are both tapes real or is only one real? Take a look and decide for yourself! Download Britney Spears porn tape for $1 USD only Click Here Now!
“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship. They did absolutely nothing all day but have sex. Britney didn’t think twice about making the video at the time she believed that their love would last forever. They adored filming each other. They lived their lives in front of the cameras, and sex was no different to them. Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands for child custody and $30milion otherwise the whole world will see Britney Spears having sex.
“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship. They did absolutely nothing all day but have sex. Britney didn’t think twice about making the video at the time she believed that their love would last forever. They adored filming each other. They lived their lives in front of the cameras, and sex was no different to them. Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands for child custody and $30milion otherwise the whole world will see Britney Spears having sex.
Well-known photographer Avinash Gowariker uses his fantasy as a tool for motivation. He says, “I visualise and imagine a lot. Some of my dreams could be real and some unreal. My dream of Steven Spielberg giving me work is not unrealistic, but if I stop work and only fantasise about that, then that is unhealthy. I need to work towards my goal.”
However, fantasy can have a darker side. Anything we do should be monitored through the lens of moderation. Says Mukherji, “Fantasy is beautiful, it is a part of you. It can be real, but fantasising about, say, pornography for 24 hours is abnormal.”
Modern-day depression is a product of day-dreaming, say experts. But too much fantasising interferes with reality. When Amit Rana, (name changed) a middle-aged married man started spending his entire time fantasising about an unknown entity — a young girl whose photograph he had seen in a magazine, hampering his day-to-day life, his wife knew that he needed help. Behind closed doors, or at times a door left ajar, Amit would be seen sitting at the edge of the bed with his head cast down — just thinking and dreaming. “He felt that the girl was physically present. He was scared to confront his problem. He was treated for this psychological disorder which was still at a preliminary stage, he had not become psychotic yet,” says his counsellor.
According to the experts, a blockage of any needs — of achievement, approval and acceptance — can lead to emotional disturbances in people’s lives, causing stunted progress. “Dreaming and fantasising become a survival defence mechanism for emotionally weak people. They find life very comfortable and convenient in the fantasy world. Since it is just them out there, they are controlling their life. But it hits them hard when they come back to reality which can be harsh,” explains a psychotherapist.
Says Dr Shubhangi Parkar, psychiatrist, KEM Hospital, Mumbai, “It could also be due to lack of mature, sensible upbringing, coupled with non-awareness of reality and responsibilities in life. They feel safe in fantasy and don’t know how to find a balance.”
Experts quote examples of young married men who fantasise about being successful and rich businessmen, owning a huge mansion and fleet of cars without attending their regular job. “This highly educated man refuses to work, he only fantasises. He has taken a huge loan, sold off his wife’s jewellery and keeps gambling in business but with no result. The family is suffering and his married life is in trouble,” says Dr Parkar.
Enlightens Dr Kersi Chavda, president, Bombay Psychiatric Society, “Fantasy is about power. Few see themselves as king or president. Some may want to kill someone.” People who have a problem with an authoritative figure, or have overbearing parents or teachers, may dream of scolding or shouting at their boss.
There are umpteen number of cases of young girls and even married women fantasising about being with a good-looking man. Says a counsellor, “This woman would dream about Hrithik Roshan and ignored her husband completely.” In an extreme case, a woman stopped having physical contact with her husband once their second child was born. When investigated, it was found that her husband’s personality was in total contrast to the picture she had in mind. “She would fantasise about a handsome man when her husband was a pot-bellied, balding man,” says a counsellor.
So well folks, run your imagination hard, dream, fantasise, after all, it is only you who can control your mind. But stay alert for signs when fantasy is infringing upon reality, or when reality is intruding upon your fantasy.
What happens in brain during orgasm?
Men reveal sex secrets that drive them wild. They maybe simple things women do most unconsciously, but they are potent enough to have a man go up in smoke - thank heavens, not literally!
When it comes to sex and foreplay, men think differently and so do women. What may work for the goose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that is thrilling, memorable and completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secret fantasies!
Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.
Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up to something. His kiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for it brings on an exhilarating primal instinct in men.
Action: Have plenty of white tees. Wear them while working with water – watering the garden, washing the dishes and more.
Effect: See-through, wet clothes are a real turn-on for men and they can’t wait to pull them off you.
Action: A woman gliding her lips on the mouth of a bottle – whether it’s water or an aerated drink.
Effect: The sensual caress of her lips on the bottle makes men go weak in the knees and their imagination runs away with them, wishing those lips were on them.
Action: While out shopping, take him along with the clothes you want to try on, into the changing room, especially if you are buying lingerie.
Effect: He’ll love you for thinking on your feet!
Action: Climb into bed looking very innocent, then do wonderfully dirty deeds.
Effect: Looking pure and being devilish is a heady combination and every man’s dream.
Action: Do yoga and let your man watch.
Effect: It can be the most erotic form of foreplay without touching each other.
Action: Kiss the patch of skin in front of his ears.
Effect: It’s an erogenous zone and he will quickly beg you for more.
Action: When your man leans forward to kiss you, hold the back of his neck in your hands.
Effect: It’s a tender move and will definitely bring your bodies closer to each other.
Action: Caress your man’s chest often.
Effect: It’s another erogenous zone. Tantalise him with light, feathery kisses to get the fire burning.
Action: Moan your man’s name during the session.
Effect: It can really turn up the heat!
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